So....who is living this life afterall?

I have some really great news for me. Me. And hopefully for my family and friends as well. I had to make a very hard decision to walk away from a job that I loved (that was about to change drastically for me) in order to prioritize my life...again. I really struggle with making ME a priority. But I have gained so much weight since this summer, and am at an all time high (pre or post pregnancy) weight.  I could scream, because it all just fits into me not thinking of myself through all of the stress and aggrivation that life brings to me. I can't wait to just get myself organized and ready to be a full time part of my family again. It's like the last 15 months just flew by, and I am back home from a long trip away.  Routines are different, the way my kids respond to things are different....and my wonderful husband picked up every peice he needed to to allow for me to work as hard as I did. IIIIIII"MMMM BAAACCCCKKK!!

I can't focus just on losing a certain number of pounds...but I can focus on one thing at a time to make me healthier. One thing each week to make me healthier than I was the week before....sounds simple enough....

boy it's been a while

When I look at the accomplishments I have had over the last year, none of them are related to my health. My role working for a business in my hometown has been grueling at times emotionally and in time spent (based on my expectations of working part time) I have recently needed to make tough decisions in order to be home with my children more, and have more time to try to get myself healthy. Our home is in better organization shape than it once was,but could most certainly use some TLC. Thankfully, I have some options to work from home or not to work at all. I am very excited for what reducing (or removing) my working hours will do for my family, but I will be missing my job and coworkers very much.  I am looking forward to blogging a little more, and learning again from the blogs that I followed before (and some new ones I am sure) how to get back to a healthy balance of God, Family, Friends and work. This time, in that order.

Last week 's catch up

Hey there!

Last week I didn't post my weight. I stayed the same based on the scale at my ww meeting. The scale at my house is different from the one at the meeting, so I have decided to use that one to track my weight loss. This week, I made much better food choices for the first four days...then we had a whole lot of parties going on...and I did not fair as well...I weigh in tonight, and will see how I do.

I want to lose the weight so badly, I just can't afford to do cook for a party for 40-50 people and keep it healthy. It's impossible on our  budget. This makes it hard to eat healthy after I have been up late and am exhausted. Anyone have ideas on how to fight the stress/tired eating during a party preparation?

The holidays are fast approaching, and I am looking for healthy alternatives to the traditional sides for meals.... if you don't want to post the recipe on here, please feel free to email me at crabb.family@yahoo.com.

I was told you can have excuses, or you can have success....but you can't have both. It's time for me to really step up. 

Take care,

~Nyky

One more pound I am thankful is gone!

It was nice to see that I lost a pound this week. In retrospect, I had a few slip-ups, but I stayed more hydrated, ate better (most meals) and was much more active and on my feet! Considering my husband was away much of the week, I am excited. I have been chatting with a few people back and forth, and that has really helped me when going through the day! (thanks for the posts and emails...keep them coming if you can!)

I am someone that needs constant feedback in all areas of my life. It's a good trait in some ways, especially because it makes me more sensitive to giving feedback/encouragement on a frequent basis to others, but it's bad because not everyone wants to hold someone's hand in the process of life. My insecurities get the best of me most times where food and eating is concerned. I am hoping to accept that weight loss is a slow process, and I am the person who really needs to motivate me, not others.

There were a group of ladies I got together with this weekend to make meals for people who are ill or have had problems and need a little 'lift' if you will. It's something that I happened to organize with ladies from a group I am involved in (a 'life group) every other week) We made over 30 meals and desserts for people, and we had such a great time! We actually planned a date for October already! Why is it that I LOVE to motivate others, but I can't seem to get motivated myself? hmmm...I am going to work on that one this week.  If you want to feel a team spirit environment, try something like that evening. We all brought different ingredients, and made lots and lots of food for OTHERS...(At least I got to make and smell the food, right?)

Take care,
~Nyky

So if I lost this week....

I DID NOT DESERVE IT. I ate like I haven't eaten in a long time last night. Pizza and ice cream and more food galore! My husband got home from a long week away. The kids had been terrible for me honestly, and I was just sick of being stressed out. I wonder what it is about eating that makes me feel SO incredibly comforted that I can't stop doing this....and where can I get that feeling without the calories?

This week, we made the decision for me to go back to work part-time, and I am so excited for the regiment that a schedule (though be it part time) will make me have. Perhaps that will help me be better about not getting distracted by food.

Being busy an being productive are two different things I am coming to figure out. Busy is what three little kids bring you, and at the end of the day I eat. Being productive, on the other hand, gives me a sense of empowerment and I don't 'need' the extra food in my mouth.  Working and having that little bit of time away from the kids might just be what I need to plan my meals, get my Bible study work done and keep my head above water.

I have been reading some really inspiring blogs lately, and hope to share some of the links soon. I hope you find something inspiring for you too!

~Nyky

I must need to be on a tight schedule....

It's amazing how crazy this week has been with my husband gone on business. This is the first time that he has gone away for more than a day since we met 12 years ago.  The kids have been terrible honestly, and we all can't wait to get him back! However, I have been on a great schedule (which with preschool and classes I am taking I have to be on time) with a real high momentum. It's a little off kilter from what we are used to, but I am eating breakfast on schedule, lunch is on schedule, dinner (on time) and then we are in bed at a decent hour.

As I am going to be transitioning to a part-time position where I will be working from home a lot and the office some of the time I work, it will be very important for my kids to have a regular schedule. We have one now, but it is pretty relaxed on timing. The kids 'natural clock' has always been between 9pm and 10pm for bed, and they  wake up around 8 or 8:30. It's worked great so far. But it is time for change. Going to bed earlier and waking up earlier EVERYDAY, is going to be needed for the kids to be less disrupted by our work schedules. I am so excited about my new job. My future boss is someone I know from my church, and understands how important it is for me to be a Wife and mother first, and employee somewhere after that.

I am so thankful for the fact that I get to work from home too. This will allow me some quiet time while my husband Rob watches the kids, yet keep me close enough if they need their mommy.

I am in DESPERATE need of an exercise plan where I don't have to pay a gym membership. Hopefully I will get inspired for more exercise soon!


Take care,
~Nyky

Week 1 Weigh-in

This week I lost a little over a pound! I am so glad that I just kind of took my time to make some better choices this week. I tried to get more hydrated (which I have a REAL problem doing for some reason). Having PCOS makes me insulin resistant and can slow down weight loss.  Honestly, my eating habits leave MUCH to desire lately, so that is more likely the reason for the slower start.  I interviewed this past week for two jobs. Both of them were great opportunities for me, with great personal rewards that could come from each. However, I was very stressed at the idea that one of them was about a 35 minute drive and Full time. The other is about a mile away from my house and part time. This opportunity could become full time at any point if I need it to. I am so thankful that at this point I feel like we will be ok with just the part time effort. My little kids need me to be around as much as possible, while my husband could use some back up here and there where bills are concerned. I decided to go with the part-time job. I am hoping that I can do better meal planning on my breaks, and maybe even get some exercising in. 

Now all I have to do is get my house in order before I start in October!~ That is a whole other mess!

Take care,

~Nyky

Starting to get on a schedule

I never thought I would say it, but I am glad for a new and more limiting schedule this fall. My kids will be going to preschool three days a week, which will allow me to keep more of a  routine schedule for everyone. This will allow me to do the meal planning that I love to see on www.orgjunkie.com.  It makes my life so much easier when I plan my meals out. If I decide to go back to the working world, I will need to have some sort of system in place to keep the peace in the house for sure!

Camp was GREAT....to everything but my waist!

Just coming back from my favorite week of the year feels great. We are getting settled and ready for preschool to start for the kids. I spent much of the last week eating large amounts of very fattening foods....many planned and executed by me. I tried to do better than I did last year, which I did. I just didn't eat the way I should have. It's an incredibly busy week, and I had to scarf things down as I could sometimes. 

I just find that stress (which is inevitable in the season of life that I am in) makes me eat. LIKE CRAZY! I have to get back on track, so I am going to do something that I never got the courage to do before....post pics as often as possible, and be accountable for my weight. Whether I go up or down.

In the past, I would get all wound up that I did not lose anything in a week, or that I gained a little bit at a time. Reality check: I am going to gain weight if I don't monitor at all. I was exercising in the beginning of the year, and it was great. I felt great, I looked better...and I let stress get in the way.

I will not make any profound promises to myself or anyone else that I will be super thin by a certain date. I just want to be healthier.  So...here is the first pic. Starting weight of 229.4.

Life is like candy land right now....

one of my ginger buddies!

I am so excited about going to camp this year! I am the activities director for a camp for kids with chronic and/or severe skin disorders. It's the one place in this world I love more than anywhere. My kids have all spent their summers there, and the people are wonderful.

It's very time consuming to plan and test and execute some of the tasks that are needed to make the schedule run well. This year, I got the crazy idea that we should make a life sized Candy Land Game Board for camp. GREAT IDEA....but it's been really time consuming over the last 6 weeks. I have lived the construction of this game board, which I don't mind, but  I have to get these ideas earlier. Every year I try to do better and better with the activities, and I cut it closer and closer to getting the job done!

A goal of mine is to start prioritizing my life again. I struggle with over committing to others, and under committing to ME. A couple of my friends have blogs that help them with accountability. I really was doing well when I posted regularly. Hopefully, when I start back with WW at the end of this month, and camp is over I can start managing my time and energy more efficiently.

Hope you enjoy some of the pictures!

This little guy makes me smile!