Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Looking past boot camp
What if I could transform myself, my body, my life, my mark on my kids life? Like a butterfly? (I don't mean to be corny...but it would be a drastic transformation on my part)
I am SO excited about the opportunity that getting healthier is providing me. I am going to join Pudget's 30 day Challenge, and I am going to continue working out with the group from my boot camp three hours a week. I was also asked to consider running a race in November that is 9 MILES long... It's call the Run for the Diamonds. I can't imagine doing that.
Pudget is going to do a 1/2 marathon in April, and is working so hard to get there...and to think at this time last year she was only a few pounds lighter than I am now. Makes me think. I am hearing what if I fail?, what if others WANT me to fail? and other nonsense that keeps me in this fight for my body.
I have been overweight for most of my life. I remember when I gained 20lbs after spending a big majority of my summer with my grandmother. My parents were overwhelmed with my mother's illness (she was sick quite a long time before her death). I think I was about 9 or 10 at the time. The trauma of being away from my parents, and thinking that my mom was going to die are still with me. I feel like I have to overcome more than just eating better. The emotions are what get me every time. Why can't I do this? I don't have to win...I just have to participate to win in this situation, right?